Oh yes. I made Into The Woods callbacks! They were Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesday we just had to read lines. I read for the Baker's Wife, but was kind of disappointed because there wasn't much to read, and so the little acting skills I do have might not have shown through. That's what happened to me last year when they had me read for Sandy in Grease. Didn't even get to be an extra. Well so I did that, and I think I did pretty well with my six or so lines as the Baker's Wife.

Then lovely Kylee and her mother gave me a ride to Kids' Acting. And oh my goodness, I finally decided on a song like an hour before the audition. I hadn't sung through it, I wasn't even sure what all the words were. Believe me, this wasn't a wise decision. Not at all. So I got up to sing it, and the music started, and it felt surreal. I felt like I wasn't even there. Like someone has pushed a button and I was automatically singing. I wasn't even thinking about what I was singing. It just came to me. It was a beautiful feeling actually, kind of like being able to write a wonderful song as you sing it for the first time, before ever thinking about what it is you want to write.

Christie said that was the best she had ever heard me sing. I was really very shocked because I was still a bit sick. But I was shocked and flattered. Dede had me read for Sally after everyone finished their song auditions. I really hadn't any idea as to what I wanted to be in Cabaret, and I'm not saying that I want to be Sally, but when she called me to read I was secretly excited. Maybe it was the thrill of thinking she wanted me for one of the three Sallys out of all the girls who would die to have the part. It made me feel special, like I was exceptional. I sound ridiculous I know, but this is my diary where I should be able to write what I feel, and so that's what I'm doing. So I think I did okay when reading. If I do get cast as Sally, I hope that Cliff would be someone I was really comfortable working with, like John or Michael. I'd probably be more comfortable with John.

Wednesday was...oh yes, I spent all of Wednesday night doing my English project. I was exhausted, let me tell you!

So Thursday rolled around, and it was time for the second set of Into The Woods callbacks. I was really ever so excited, and not to sound like Little Red Riding Hood, but they "made me feel excited, well, excited and scared." I sang my cuts, I thought I did pretty well, I even hit some high notes I usually would not have been able to. But I felt like something was dreadfully wrong, the way everyone told me I did "good", maybe it was just nerves. I just said a prayer to God in hopes that he would take care of it all, and whatever he has planned for me it shall be done. So I just said a small prayer of thanks for having it go as well as it did. Mr. White said we were all "crazy-talented" and that the cast list would go up Friday at 7 PM. I was shocked. Friday, THIS Friday!? But it was true! So then I went home to spend another night recklessly working away on a project, but this time for Geometry.

And then came Friday, today. The day went well, as A-Days usually do for me. In Web Design, a few minutes before the bell rang, I was talking to Kylee and she told me some disturbing news. One of my "friends" in Acappella has been going around to other people in the choir and telling them things about me, like I am full of myself and that I think I'm better than everyone else. Oh my goodness I was so crushed, you have no idea. I just was crushed. I thought she was really my friend. Kylee suggested I say some means things back, but I just looked her in the eye and said, "No, because I'm a bigger person than her and doing that would make me just as immature as she is," and walked away, my eyes full of tears. It was one day I would've been glad to ride the bus so I didn't have to worry about talking to anyone and them seeing me upset, but of course, today of all days my mother picked me up from school. So I get in the car, and of course, I burst into tears. The one thing I hate to do in front of people more than anything is cry. I know I say that in a lot of entries but it's so true. I think I have figured out why it's so embarrassing for me. Why I will cry and sing in front of strangers but not my family. Because when I do those two things, I let down all my guard. When I sing it's with my soul, when I cry it's with every ounce of heart I have. I just feel naked and so exposed when I do those two things. But back to my story. I cry and spill it to my mom and so we go to Sonic and get a banana chocolate malt. My fave. And it worked, I did feel better. (I also got one on Tuesday after Cabaret and Thursday after callbacks, they are really wonderful pick-me-ups, I suggest them to anyone who likes chocolate and bananas!) But you know, I really do hate girls. It's why I prefer to hang out with guys so much more. Boys aren't catty bitches who feel the need to portray themselves as your friend, someone you look up to and even go as far to say, admire, and then back stab you when they are two years older and should be two years more mature, but apparently not. And if she somehow finds this and is reading it, then all I have to say is shame on you.

So I got home and made plans with Kristin to go to the mall later tonight and stop by Round Rock on the way their so I could see the cast list. Well my goodness I can't remember ever being so shocked. I, Caitlin Elizabeth Garner, got the part of the Baker's Wife. Me. The sophmore. I was totally shocked, I was crying I was so happy. I kept running back to check the list because I couldn't believe it. It still hasn't totally sunken in. I was so happy, but then I realized I would have to kiss at least two boys being the Baker's Wife, so that's the downside. I really am not up for kissing guys I don't know. I really am shy when it comes to these things, believe it or not. And I know why Mr. White gave me the part, and I don't think my talent has anything to do with it. I know the only reason he did it. He knows I want to go to Westwood next year and he thinks by giving me the lead it will get me to stay. And I'm annoyed because it's working I'm feeling guilty about wanting to leave, because he's willing to screw over his whole show and have me as Baker's Wife just so I don't leave Round Rock. But, with those two things pushed aside in my mind, I'm totally happy.

We went to the mall and met Spencer, and his two friends, Gordon and Alex, who I happened to know from talking to online a few times. We were sitting in the Food Court and these really ghetto guys come up to us and start talking to me and Kristin. The guys (Spencer & Co.) are just like, "ummmm...." and Kristin and I are just, "eeeek!!," 'cause we were freaked like we always are in these situtations. And yes, we DO find ourselves in these situations quite frequently. Spencer had to go somewhere with them for a while so we just hung out and tried to avoid the guys. Then Spencer came back later and we just all hung around, blah blah blah, boring stuff. Spencer left at nine, and since we had an hour to kill we took photo booth pictures. And then we befriended the people who work at the coffee shop. They really are sweet people, in fact, I would go as far to say that they are my favorite employees in the mall. They protected us from the ghetto guys, so not only are they nice but they are my heroes! But the whole night I was in shock that I got Baker's Wife. Maybe it was a typo. I don't know. But even if it was I have enjoyed this feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction immensely. It was more than I ever would have dreamed.